A Classic Fairy Tale

Ah, it's the old girl is betrothed to boy, boy becomes king, girl's father is tried for treason, boy becomes betrothed to another, girl weds boy's uncle story.  We've heard it a million times.  And wasn't it a lovely evening?  Besides the beautiful nuptials, here's what else we learned during week 8:

Samwell is that guy that the stewardess is talking to on a plane at the end of the flight when he/she reminds everyone to check around their seat and seat-back pocket for personal belongings.  Even if he left the weird arrow-head behind, he's still an accidental hero.  Also, he's terrified of birds.

Ginny needs to read "1000 Baby Names".  Crastor?  That's the best you can come up with?

Arya needs to give up archery and work on her rock-to-the-head skills.  

Davos needs Hooked on Phonics.  I bet this is his first purchase now that he's free.

Cersei will cut a bitch if they call her "sister".  She also doesn't give a sh*t what Loras's father says.

Tyrion loves the nectar of the gods!  Sansa's not a fan but I have a feeling she'll acquire the taste.  She may learn to like wine too.  Side note - I bet Tyrion hates Merlot.  All respectable winos hate Merlot.

Melisandre is always prepared for a spur of the moment fishing trip.

Now that I know who Gendry is, I can't help feeling bad for him.  First he narrowly escapes Castle Black, then he's kidnapped (and by a ginger no less), then he finds out his dad is the dead king, then just as he's getting laid for the first time in one can only guess is EVER, his 50 Shades fantasy gets all sorts of messed up.  Rough life kid.

Dany needs to learn the meaning of two words:  modesty and bitchslap.  Guest or not, Titan's Bastard needed to lose more than his head. Side note - does anyone else find an eerie similarity between Daario and the Beast?

Joffrey is still a douche.  Hearing him refer to himself as a father made me want to vomit.  I wish Tyrion would have followed through with his threat...eye for an eye, dick for a dick.