GoT: A Fight to the Death: RIP Ros, that slut!

Botticelli's The Birth of Venus

Ouch, what a way to go! Although did anyone else find that scene to have Boticelli-esque beauty, in a morbid kind of way? Apparently there's only one archery teacher in the Seven Kingdoms and he's trained Arya and Joffrey... it may be time for the women of Westeros to get new iron-lined undergarments (coming soon to a Victoria Secret near you).

I was completely confused for 75% of this week's episode but still LOVED the sick, twisted, cruelty that permeated the action-packed hour. Thanks to Entertainment Weekly's recap, I'm now totally on board... although the same can't be said for poor Sansa stark. So what did we learn this week?

Melisandre gives me the heeby-jeebies. She's calling the shots - Arya is going to take down three people, all with different colored eyes (brown, blue, and green), and they WILL meet again. All this while Arya loses her BFF (so THAT'S Gendry! Noted.). Rough day kid. Looks like it's time for you to officially pull up your big girl pants. This was a great call by the LOA bt dubs. He had this all figured out by the end of the week 5 recap - Gendry has Baratheon blood and is about to be the father of Deuce... congratulations Gendry!

Ygritte doesn't trust Jon Jon but she likes his moves and they're in love. Too bad it's a Game of Thrones and not another season of the Bachelor. Jon Jon pledges his allegiance to her but he's already pledged his allegiance to the Night's Watch. You can't pledge two allegiances!! With his vows of loyalty, she rewards him with some sweet shoes that I have a hard time believing will help him climb The Wall. But, if we've learned anything this season, it's that miracles happen every day in Westeros. Both will live to love each other another day. How romantical!

Sansa's stuck in King's Landing. She had a way out but that ship has literally sailed, although I'm not sure which is worse - Littlefinger or Tyrion?

Brienne looks swell in pink. Get used to it honey... your dress-wearing days seem to have just begun.

Samwell is a lovely tenor. He could be the next North of the Wall Idol.

Edmure has to marry the Frey girl that Robb (King of the North!) ditched to be with Talisa.

Jojen has seizures during his visions. Bran is starting to realize that ignorance is bliss.

Theon is as bad at guessing as his captor is great at coming up with methods of torture. Sorry about your finger, Theon. Yara will miss it.

Tywin solidifies the marriage of Cersei to Loras. Two secrets can stay in their respective closets with this arrangement. It's truly a win-win, just not for Cersei or Loras. And poor Loras...all of his hopes and dreams of the perfect wedding have just gone down the crapper. There's no way he can out-Bridezilla Cersei!

Tyrion's life is in danger. The only good news is that Joffrey chose a practice dummy that is twice Tyrion's height. RIP, Ros. Traitors never fair well in King's Landing, especially slutty traitors. With her death, that leaves the LOA in last place and the standings as follows:

Lady of Sparklefell (LOS)