Week 7 Predictions: Here comes the bride...

Winter is coming.

This season of GoT is turning into an old-timey version of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding.  I'm not sure which ceremony will be the greatest social event of the season - Cersei and Loras, Edmure and Lady Frey, Joffrey and Margaery, or tonight's wedding between Tyrion and Sansa.  They do make a lovely couple.  I hope Jaime makes it back in time for this evening's nuptials!  And who will give Sansa away?  Shae?  Awkward.  Loras?  Devastating.  Tywin?  Inappropriate.  I'm calling for Varys, or a solo stroll down the aisle to meet the man of her dreams.  

Besides the grand ceremony, here are my other predictions for tonight's episode:

Brann will dream about a three-eyed crow.

Ygritte and Jon Jon will build a sled and take a sweet ride down The Wall... isn't anyone else dying to know how they'll get down?  We already know how Jon Jon goes down so that mystery's solved.

Theon will lose another digit.  I hope it's a toe this time.  I would LOVE to see Theon walk with a limp, gangsta style.  I'm also overly optimistic that we will learn the true identity of his torturer.  The man is a genius and rolls with his sh*t off safety.  I like him.

Melisandre will take advantage of poor Gendry.  He just wants to make elaborate suits of armor, not father demon vag babies.  Leave the man to his craft.

Samwell and Ginny will be attacked by White Walkers and subsequently rescued by Ghost.

Ser Jorah's secret will be revealed.  Dany runs a no-nonsense ship and refuses to deal with his antics.  Get ready to burn Ser Jora...you're about to pay the iron price.

Littlefinger will arrive in the Eyrie.  After several days all alone in his feather bed, he will seek the love of a lady.  The ladies of the Eyrie aren't nearly as slutty as the women of King's Landing, and much more poorly groomed.  Sorry Littlefinger, time to lower your standards.  

The LOA is hungover after a night on the town.  The sight of alcohol makes him more nauseous than the Dothraki on a ship for the first time. Alas, he has left the other L's & L's to a night of sobriety.  He will join Ser Jorah in paying the iron price for his crimes.