Sleeping with Gingers and Other Unforgivable Sins

Woah!  An hour hasn't gone by that fast since I attempted to go drink for drink with a UPer, fell behind after round 5, and ended up sucking on oyster crackers in the fetal position on a hotel bathroom floor... but I digress.

This week was all about the the consequences of bad decisions, and nobody has a longer consecutive streak of poor decisions than Jon Jon (excluding Mark Emmert, Lin Lo, and the Oakland Raiders who are all ASSumed title holders in this category).  During this week's episode we see Jon Jon stand trial for breaking a whole host of oaths, worst of which was sleeping with a ginger. Everyone knows you can't trust a ginger, especially one with a bow! While we can all admit that this is a poor life choice, and I hate to point fingers here, but

Pushed a kid out of a window

Shot a whore in the
boob with a crossbow

Had a man burned alive

SLEPT WITH YOUR BROTHER!

Ygritte's consequence for shooting Jon Jon is TBD, but I have a sneaking suspicion it will have something to do with the knew cannibals on the block, the Thenns.

Jaime is dealing with the ultimate consequence for taking too damn long - a sister-lover's scorn. Cersei doesn't care that you were "busy" being captured and has moved on to bigger, better, two handed men.  On the bright side, he gets a new sword because being right handed is sooo last season.  The history of this sword is a story all its own and I predict it will play a big role in the death pool this season.

We met the suave Latin-esque lover, Prince Oberyn Martell (aka The Red Viper) from Dorne and boy is he a cutie!  This guy is going to jack someone's sh*t up and that someone is going to be a Lannister - I'm predicting Tywin.  Tywin ordered The Mountain to kill Oberyn's sister Elia and her two kids when the Lannisters / Baratheons / Starks overthrew the Mad King.  Like we've already seen, actions have consequences.

In Meereen we saw Dany with her pre-pubescent dragons and a new, less Fabio Daario.  I guess his less-chiseled jaw line will have to do.  

Tyrion and Sansa are having a bit of marital discourse after she discovered that her father in law murdered her mother and brother (King of the North!).  Sansa is always holding grudges!  Get over it already.  Perhaps your new necklace will help... I hope she gives it to Margaery who has been in need of a wedding necklace for weeks!  I predict this necklace could be a secret cue to off someone, which should be Sansa, but Margaery gets the ax instead.  Who can blame someone for a mix-up like that?  Everyone knows all gingers look alike.

Finally there is Polliver, who has had it coming to him for quite some time.  He stole Needle which ended him up on Arya's death wishlist (what happened to a nice peaceful registry at Bed, Bath & Beyond)?  

We're still waiting to hear from Stannis, Theon, and Brann but I predict that Stannis is still a little bitch, Theon still has an aversion to sausage, and Brann is still chasing crows. 

Hopefully this has all set the stage for tonight's royal wedding (let's all toast to tighter security!).  The Lannisters have more coming to them than the guy who started marketing smart phones to adults over the age of 40.  I don't anticipate another massacre-themed reception, but I do foresee the Lannister clan taking a hit in the next 2-3 weeks.  Either way, I'm all drugged up and ready to cope with my PRWSD.