Sunday, April 28, 2013

Week 5 Predictions: I love a good trial by combat!

Ahhh!!  That last scene!  Dany didn't just come to play.  She came to dominate.  There seems to be a fire theme throughout the season thus far and tonight isn't going to buck that trend.  I mean seriously, how many gingers can you pack into one cast??  Here are some of my predictions:
  1. We will see our Trial by Combat between The Hound and The Lord of Lightening.  Let's just hope Beric doesn't have his own Demon Vag Baby or The Hound's journey will end here.  I think The Hound will come out on top, but not unscathed... fire can be a bitch.
  2. In the north, the White Walkers are going to be pissed when they find out Craster has been killed which means an end to their baby supply.  It's like the day I found out there would be no more Twinkies.  Sam will protect Ginny and her baby brother / son from the harms of the forest.  He may have to burn a White Walker or two along the way.  Maybe this is the time Ghost will come to the rescue (see week 4 predictions)!
  3. We'll find out the identity of the man who released, saved, and re-captured Theon.  We love him already.
  4. In King's Landing, Tywin will put Joffrey in his place when Cersei can't.  (No more dresses or grown up toys until you eat your peas!)  Tyrion will continue to prove that Cersei tried to have him murdered.  Podrick will still be the talk of the town.  Rumor has it he will be starring in an upcoming adult film with Farrah Abraham.  Sansa (ginger) will have to decide whether to flee with Littlefinger or stay with her new BFF Margaery (ginger).  Sansa's never had a real friend so she will cling to her fellow fire-crotch and stay in King's Landing.  Besides, how can she turn down an engagement to Loras?  He's so dreamy (confirming the old add adage... gay or taken).
  5. Melisandre (ginger) will find the man who will impregnate her with Deuce (see week 4 predictions).  Stannis and Davos will make amends, or Davos will take a knife to the throat.
  6. Jon Snow will be tempted by Ygritte (ginger).  He will eventually give in to these temptations, but not this week... he'll be too overwhelmed by his inner emotional turmoil.  Jon Jon will be secretly grieving the death of his Lord Commander while having to outwardly celebrate with the Wildlings.
  7. Qyburn will reveal some important info to Robb Stark (King of the North!) and Catelyn.  
  8. Bran will dream about a three eyed crow.
  9. The Lord of Wolverine Landing will supply some cheap wine and sh*tty beer.  

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