I'm sorry... WHAT??!!

If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I was at the end of episode 5.  

While this episode had more ass-shots than happy hour after a gay pride parade, and wars were waged with words instead of weapons, at least one of my predictions was spot on.  Here are some of this week's highlights:

1.  Confirmed:  Robb (King of the North!) does have balls.

2.  Face slap #1:  Stannis has a wife who actually seems to like him.  Face slap #2:  Babies in jars.  Face slap #3:  Stannis has a half-dragon faced daughter.  Side note - if you could make it through the credits without muting your TV, pencil yourself in for a nice relaxing stay at your local psych hospital.  It was creepy and you're a creeper for listening to it in it's entirety.  After this scene, I'm nominating Stannis for father of the year.  Who's with me?   

Beric Dondarrion

3.  Beric was dead, then alive, which is confusing yet refreshing.  Scars are hot.

Grey Worm

4.  General Rule of Life:  If your name is Grey Worm and you're offered the opportunity to change it, take it!

5.  Ygritte needs to eat a sandwich.  Jon Jon seemed to have enough to eat so maybe he's willing to share.

6.  Qyburn is back!  He could use a lesson or two from McSteamy / McDreamy, but the man knows how to get the job done.  I'm sure Jaime's stump will heal beautifully with just a hint of a scar, which is a shame (see point #3).

7.  Tyrion + Sansa = one empty feather bed on a ship to the Eyrie.

8.  There is more to Jaime than his reputation as a King Slayer (although less of him now than in episode 1)?  Reminder #1 - Jaime killed Dany's father.  Reminder #2 - Dany came to play...

9.  Tywin proposed an epic game of "Would You Rather" to Cersei:  your evil, one-handed brother or the gay brother of your son's fiance who is about half your age?  It should be a hypothetical... I wish it were a hypothetical.

10.  The L's & L's were supplied with Coors Light and Menage a Trois cabernet.  Spot on.